#im either too high or just high enough
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diarrhea-at-awafflehouse · 4 days ago
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Me? It's been years. Haha I would love to dream again :) -Justin McElroy the most real McElroy
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hayaku14 · 7 months ago
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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monkesupreme · 2 months ago
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Monster hunter Bruce…………….
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foreverxdaydreaming · 4 months ago
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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triglycercule · 22 hours ago
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sure horror playing the drums is cool but i think he would absolutely devour on a synthesizer
(also dust should totally get to play the organ too,,, keyboard buds :3)
#the eating pun was not on purpose#i'm coping with the killer analysis kicking me in the ass by thinking about horror#tricule rant#i was listening to franderman123's horrortale covers can you tell#GODDDDD a synth is SO horror............. if people object to this claim then they just arent horrorpilled enough#synth is even used in his offical themes by SAS aaoaushhhhh synthesizer horror i just came up with you but now i love you#even in the ye old days of sharax's ravenous theme for horror GUESS WHATS USED???? SYNTH!!!! SYNTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm not a music person so if the sound i'm imagining right now isnt actually a synthesizer you have right to shoot me but i think i'm right#anyways the organ was also inspired by dust's official theme the murder because i think the foreboding sound all thru the theme is an organ#but also to me he could suit a piano too......... :3#now killer??? you know what i always say about him 😁 he can just be killer..........#actually though unironically i'm trying to listen to killer themes to see which instruments appears often appear and also which fit imo#but uhhhhh his themes are all very different from each other........ and there just arent a lot in the first place#you either got occisor then blackhole and eyes of a killer and then lethal deal (my personal favorite out of all the popular killer themes)#ooh i like the jazzy kinda swing flow going on in a soul for a soul........shit's GROOVY........#maybe he could be bass??? but i feel that's more chara's thing#i keep thinking of these high pitched little notes but i dont have any other instrument to describe them aside from wind chimes#BUT THEYRE NOT WIND CHIMES I KNOW THEYRE NOT WIND CHIMES I THINK?????#maybe theyre just really high notes on a piano........ but then i'd have to give up piano to killer instead of letting dust keep it 😒😒😒#does that make the whole trio keyboard buddies then ❓❓❓🤔🤔🤔#GOD I WISH PRODUCERS AND COMPOSERS WOULD LIKE SIZHAJUA#I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU USED TO COMPOSE THIS 💔💔💔 WHAT SOUNDS DID YOU CHOOSE#wait is the high pitched noise im thinking of a kalimba???? i dont know........ i feel its too cozy of an instrument to suit killer#WHATEVER YOU KNOW WHAT HE GETS TO COMPOSE THE SONGS I GUESS!!!! OR DIRECT!!!!!! i dont know which one's more fun IDC HOW OOC THIS THIS SHUS#i'm mildly annoyed about the killer analysis can you tell 🙂
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months ago
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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globodamorte · 3 months ago
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remembered that friend again I wanna kms
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alchemiclee · 1 year ago
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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arolesbianism · 1 year ago
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Sits in shambles I didn't read maybe Jorge's id correctly in the mysterious hermit logs the first god knows how many times I read them and only just now realized that it's the same id as the scientist that speaks in the agricultural notes log why must I be so bad at reading
#rat rambles#oni posting#on the bright side thats one mystery id kind of solved#by kind of I mean its most likely jorge but theres no way to comfirm it#this does make me feel like there might be some other b363 thing I missed but Im not sure if I doubt myself enough to go check rn#they are another character seen in story trait logs alongside an in game lifeform origin log just with critters this time#Ive made baseless speculation on who b363 could be based on what named characters we have without ids but its nowhere near confirmed#at least from what I remember but again Im starting to doubt myself a lil so I might double check at some point#the only idless characters we have fully marked off is nikola Im pretty sure#although based on the characters we do know anything abt itd most likely be either ada or liam but thats not saying much#ada is a fairly high probability tho since we basically 100% know that shes a part of the bioengineering department#liam possibly is too but thats more of a educated guess then smth particularly implied#Im glad I've finally realized who our lovely plant guy is tho#alas even if I find some hidden b363 content that still leaves I believe 3 ids unidentified#well we do know that at least one of them is steve but we don't know which one#and while we can take shots in the dark at who the scientist is theres also a second guard#and out of everyone we know bits and pieces abt theres no one who fits that bill or at least not anyone Im remembering#every other mentioned character is some flavor of scientist or is implied to be#not counting quinn but they are also off the table on account of not being a gravitas employee#so basically unless I missed smth the only previously established character that we know for sure is in that log is steve and the other two#could easily be any of the currently unused guys#and the other guard basically has to be unless theres scientists here that also double as guards
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 9 months ago
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reading dungeon meshi
#random thoughts#it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere#like hi falin bye falin#like i cared about them finding falin. then they found her. and now she's gone again.#i don't like marcille but in like. a compelling way. she's my favorite archetype of character who is specifically female for some reason?#lady who thinks her way is the right way and she's morally right and therefore everyone else is wrong#high conscientiousness with low openness to experience. see themselves as agreeable dutiful and restrained while not being any of that#they tend to take on moralistic causes but they usually don't have a defined reason for WHY they're doing it so it just comes off as preachy#and the narrative tends to take their side with no basis in why#like when marcille tried to prove herself with the mandrakes and put everyone in danger and senshi conceded he was ALSO in the wrong???#and even marcille was like 'that wasn't my point at all'#that entire chapter made me mad it was so good#it's also doing that thing i hate when a piece of media introduces too many characters at once#like who's who what's what who is important who should i remember#i love the detail put into the cooking sessions!!!#i love how all the characters are so fucked up and not even in plot-important ways#like chilchuck's cowardice is very important to the plot but senshi was straight-up willing to let a man die for his flavorful cooking lmao#laios is. my man. i need him carnally.#i get that the whole 'got eaten by dragon' thing was not meant to be the Whole Plot but i feel like the background plot is just not my thing#either that or it wasn't set up in a compelling enough way?#idk. im still reading#all in all i think dungeon meshi might just not be my thing? plot-wise i mean. i love the characters and the general premise#of monster biology and environmentalism and cooking and augh#i don't like how everytime senshi corrects marcille on something so far he ends up going 'i guess i also need to learn a thing or two'#like on the mandrakes? the man has FIELD EXPERIENCE he was entirely in the right to prefer his method!!!#and on the environment thing? first of all marcille's whole thing is building artificial dungeons she SHOULD care about the food chain#SECOND OF ALL telling marcille she shouldn't kill so many fishmen isn't playing GOD or whatever#that kraken was a fucking. extenuating circumstance. it was literally there just to make marcille's argument credible#animals killing each other through the food chain is different from marcille using what is essentially a rocket launcher#god i ran out of tags. peace and luv bruvs 🤟 kind of have a hate crush on marcille now. need her
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diarrhea-at-awafflehouse · 4 days ago
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Imagine a post from your deactivated account from 2013 goes viral and your haunted by your past in the present, I don't know that girl! Lol
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its-sixxers · 1 year ago
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thank god for rogue trader honestly because my heart is bruised from bg3 reminding me how shit my cpu is
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rosykims · 1 year ago
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society (me) if somebody on nexus ever released a neat ballerina bun hair for female elf inquisitors so i could finally play ashara the way she was Meant to be played
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roseband · 1 year ago
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ew he's in nyc for some boring luxury brand's launch
#personal#they're livestreaming it tho..................i could also work from phone/minilaptop and go to meatpacking lol#but i wont that's...... too much#i never get like... the minimalistic luxury brands tho... if im gonna buy any high end designer#it's either karl lagerfeld shoes (yes i know what he is.... they're all samples cuz im a 6 shoe lol and i got em for $15)#OOOOOooOOoor me being tempted to get moschino or and other stories when it's in nordstrum rack or c21#there is soooo much moschino on sale at c21 rn like two season's ago's line... but it's still too much for me to justify buying lol#like i am the biggest clutterbitch aesthetic forever and always#im not sure what i'm wearing for eric's two concerts but i have my the rose concert outfit planned already#like i'm wearing this rlly cute corsetted crop top with a rose pattern fabric with off the shoulder long sleeves#(which i'm soooo sad bc i got it at goodwill and like it was $5 but i looked up the brand and it's rlly expensive :<<<<#which means i can't just buy another thing from the brand but it fits super well lol)#and then either black flared slacks or vintage tripp cargo pants#and my usual platforms for concerts cuz theyre the only comfy enough shoes that give me height#and im borrowing a hat from my mom that looks like leo's in alive and making a rose corsage choker similar to the freepeople one#FOR ERIC i'm thinking one night this plaid green blazer i have with a black turtleneck and a tulle skirt but it might not be cool out#i could try to convince my mom to loan me her long leather jacket like eric's in the mv LOL#it doesn't even fit her anymore so she should just give it to me *grabby hands*
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devotedlystrangewizard · 2 years ago
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local teenager who used to get praised for having a high processing speed studies for test; is shocked to get a good grade
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